Behind the mask…

How many of us, I wonder, find ourselves in situations where we feel unable to move a conversation beyond the superficial level; never really getting beneath the surface and discovering what lies at the core of a person’s feelings, thinking or behaviour.

I also wonder how many of us are too busy playing the corporate game to really engage in heartfelt and meaningful conversations about issues that might truly make a significant difference to the success we are in pursuit of; be it in a personal, domestic, social or commercial setting. Let me be the first to hold up my hand and admit to occasionally being guilty of failing to move beyond such superficiality; even though I have frequently been desirous to do so.

Whilst I can’t speak for others, nor should I, I would argue that it isn’t always a lack of courage or bravery that causes a person to sometimes appear without comment or conviction. My personal belief is that the failure to seize such moments, by immersing ourselves in conversations that go beyond polite niceties (or commercial rhetoric), are based far more on a myriad of external factors or considerations; including such aspects as time, pressure, receptiveness, arrogance, pomposity, aggressiveness, etc, etc. Anyone who knows me, friends and colleagues alike, would readily attest that my silence is never due to complacency and rarely born out of fear.

More often than not I think any constraints exhibited by myself are usually the result of wanting to exercise some degree of emotional intelligence when communicating with others; in the form of empathy, sensitivity, diplomacy or even self-preservation. The problem with this is the moment can all too easily pass me by and the opportunity to initiate change or improvement be lost; possibly forever.

Being someone who has successfully worked within the field of learning & development for many years (as a trainer, facilitator, coach, mentor and consultant) I have had numerous opportunities to spend quality time with people at all levels of the corporate hierarchy. It has been during these times, often by doing nothing more than building a rapport with them and listening empathically to what they have to say, that they remove the mask and allow me to see the person behind. What I frequently discover is that the wearing of the mask has closed the door to the wealth of talent that lies behind it; in the form of ingenuity, imaginativeness, resourcefulness and creativity. Such waste. Often perpetuated by the belief that they need to wear the mask because surrounding conditions or intimidating individuals prevent them from doing otherwise – whether real or imagined.

I have learnt many things during my time working closely with people. Not least of which being this…

We will only be able to fully harness the creative energy and resourcefulness of the people we work with when we create the conditions where they truly feel cared for, safe, valued, encouraged, comfortable and confident to express themselves.

I’d like to think that my passion, style and love of people has allowed me to create an environment in which people have felt safe enough to remove their mask and discover for themselves the innate talent within them. May I continue to do so for many years to come.

Whilst the material posted under the heading of “Articles” provides me with a platform to remove my own mask, and share my thoughts on a wide range of topics relating to people development, I’m also hoping it will serve as a platform for promoting further discussion.  It is hoped that the subject matter will be of sufficient interest to prompt you to share your own thoughts with me on the topics covered – irrespective of whatever stance you take.

Should you wish to share your thoughts, or voice your opinions, then you can either;

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